


"I Guess I'd Be A Hero"

by hi_its_tutty



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, If You Squint - Freeform, Light Angst, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Good Friend, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Sweetheart, Patton is Donkey, Roman is Fiona, Shrek the Musical AU, Songfic, Virgil is Shrek, also hints of prinxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:33:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23372485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hi_its_tutty/pseuds/hi_its_tutty
Summary: Patton asks Virgil if he ever dreamed of what he could be, instead of who he is, and Virgil, well, Virgil gives the most honest answer he can.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	"I Guess I'd Be A Hero"

**Author's Note:**

> i honestly adore shrek the musical, it genuinely owns my heart
> 
> tw: mentions of death, weaponry, violence (i mean, it _is_ a shrek the musical au)

All of his life, Virgil had to stop himself from dreaming. 

Well, that wasn’t exactly completely true. From the moment he turned seven and was told by his parents that he’d be completely ostracized from society and never be seen as nothing more than a threat, he had to stop himself from dreaming. He still remembered the words they told him.

“It’s a big bright beautiful world out there,” his mom told him, cupping his cheek and wiping away his tears (he had just been told that they were sending him away. Could you blame him for crying?). “A magical land full of sunshine and happiness, and every dream comes true! But not for you!”

Needless to say, Virgil didn’t exactly have the best outlook on life. 

How could he? Every time anyone saw him, they screamed and turned the other direction. He didn’t have to roar half the time to get those widened eyes and that terrified look (but the roar definitely helped to get them running away). He always heard the same exact thing every single time. “O-o-ogre!” they whimpered before Virgil took a single step towards them and they started screaming (and _Jesus Christ_ people had shrill screams). 

He never considered _not_ being on ogre. It was too painful to pretend that he could be anything but completely terrifying. That he would ever amount to anything other than a figure of fear. That he would ever be seen as anything other than green and scary. (And seriously, why _green_? It was probably the ugliest color on the planet. Why couldn’t he be colored a better color, like purple? If he had to stick out from society, at least make it slightly less disgusting. Though, with his life, it made sense that he was doomed to be the worst color in existence.)

“No, Patton. I cannot, and never will be able to be anything other than an ogre,” he said when Patton, a talking donkey who he was forced to travel with to rescue a princess-that-turned-out-to-be-a-prince (long story) asked him if he ever thought about being anything other than an ogre. 

“Come on, Virgil! You’ve _never_ thought of it?” Patton asked. 

Once. He’s thought of it once. It was the day he was kicked out of his cushy life with semi-loving parents. He spent hours walking in silence in a random direction, thinking about ways his life could’ve gone different if he was literally any other person. Then, as soon as he started smiling to himself at the thought of being in a cozy home, with a fireplace and his mom and dad being there to smile and kiss him goodnight, he saw a person who screamed “Ogre! Big, fat, ugly ogre!” and ran away.

Virgil hasn’t thought of it since. 

“No. Never,” he said, semi-lying but who cares? He wasn’t exactly a beacon of honesty. 

“Well, why don’t you think of it now? Come on, just answer the question! If you could be anyone but an ogre, what would you be?” Patton insisted, with that smile of his that Virgil (begrudgingly, and he’d never, _ever_ admit it) had barely begun to _slightly_ enjoy. 

“I’d be an ogre, but living in my swamp, away from anyone and everyone,” Virgil deadpanned, just staring off into the stars. 

“Just play along! Okay, if a guy held a sword at you, like held you at sword point and said, ‘Look here! You can’t be an ogre anymore! Pick something else!’ what would you say?” Patton asked, sitting too close to Virgil for his liking.  


“Okay, first of all, bold of you to assume I wouldn’t let him stab me, and second of all, I would just _pick him up_ and hurl him into a tree, how’s that for an answer?” Virgil said, decidedly not looking at Patton (he swore, if he heard a single _sniffle_ come from that guy). 

Silence. 

No sniffle. 

“What do you have against the world, Virgil?” Patton asked quietly. 

“I don’t have anything against the world, Patton. It’s the world that has something against me. Look at me, look at Roman! You saw how he reacted when he saw me! People take one look at me and they run for their lives. They judge me before they even know me,” Virgil said, not looking at Patton. He wasn’t sure if he could right now. “ _That’s_ why I’m better off alone.”

“You know, Virgil, when we met, I didn’t go running for my life,” Patton said, making Virgil actually turn to look at him. 

There was Patton, hairy face and all. Those weird circles of black fur around his eyes that made him look like he had glasses. Just sitting down weirdly, like a dog. Concerned. _Caring_. It almost made Virgil sick. 

But it didn’t. Unless a little lifting of his heart counted as being sick. 

“Yeah, I know,” Virgil said quietly, offering the tiniest tilt upwards of the corner of his mouth. 

“So there’s really no one else you’d rather be?” Patton asked softly. 

Virgil turned back to look at the stars, as if they had an answer, and he thought and he thought and he thought. He couldn’t bear to think that he could be anything other than what he was. He accepted long ago that he was forced to be in this body, in this life. Thinking otherwise hurt too much. 

Virgil scoffed. This whole thing was stupid, anyway. What was the point of hoping that he could be anything different than what he was? He turned back to Patton, ready to say that he was done with this question, and that they should just go to bed, but then he saw those stupid _hopeful_ eyes and a small smile, and he just couldn’t break his heart. 

“I guess I’d be a hero, with the shining armor and everything,” Virgil said, turning back to the sky. “I’d have a sword and a shield, who knows, maybe I’d look semi-decent too.” 

“Hey, you look perfectly decent right now!” Patton said, making Virgil turn back to him, a deadpan expression on his face. 

“I meant what I said,” Patton said unapologetically, and Virgil laughed before continuing. 

“Or, you know, I’d be like, a viking or something. Traveling the seas and going on dangerous quests everyday as I fight for glory.” Virgil was starting to smile now, his mind filled with thoughts that he hadn’t let himself think since he was seven. “I’d go on adventures everyday, taste the water and smell the sea.

“Or, you know, I could be a poet. They’re cool. I could spin stories out of nothing, telling tales of daring adventures, and love and happily ever afters. The stars would like, give me inspiration or something, or at least that’s what I’d tell everyone. Really, I’d get all my inspiration from the village, and by watching the little kids play random games.” 

Virgil turned to Patton, who was watching everything with a smile. “I think that’s who I’d be.” 

“Then why don’t you? You could go on adventures, you know. We’re on one right now. You could become a poet and break the stereotypes of ogres,” he said, his voice way too optimistic for what Virgil was saying. 

“And what opportunities would I have to do that, Patton?” Virgil asked, feeling his heart sink. “Look at me. I’m an ogre whether I like it or not. I’m forced to hide away in my swamp, growling at everyone who dares step into the goop.” He gave a bitter laugh. “I’m forced to stay alone. In the dark. With nobody.”

“But if things were different…”

“If things were different, I’d definitely be a hero,” Virgil decided, looking down and nodding to himself. “I’d scale a large tower, and defeat a large dragon with one swipe of my completely polished sword, I’d gain glory for myself, and for the princess I’m supposed to save! Or, you know, prince.” He glanced at the cave Prince Roman was sleeping in. Something about going to sleep before sunset so he could catch his beauty sleep. Whatever. “I’d climb up the tower, and declare that I was his rescuer. We would stand in the tower, and look off into the sky. I’d tell him stories of my dashing adventure. And once sunset hit, we’d have true loves kiss, and I’d have a perfect hero’s ending. A happily ever after.” Virgil smiled, imagining the possibilities of this new world. He swore he could see the stars dance in the sky, telling the story of Virgil, the brave knight. “Wouldn’t that be the life,” he muttered, looking wistful. “It really would be a big, bright, beautiful world.”

Virgil sighed, and turned back to Patton, whose eyes had gone misty, and he was sniffling. “But it’s not. At least, not for me.” 

If things were different…

If he wasn’t a goddamn ogre. 

“You said you were better off being alone,” Patton said quietly.

“I am,” Virgil replied with a shrug, remembering why he didn’t think of this kind of stuff. Reality always came to stab him in the back, reminding him that no, he would not get a happy ending. His happily ever after ended with him being defeated, and the town rejoicing. His ended included pitchforks and torches, not wedding bells and sunsets. 

“But you’re not alone,” Patton said, scooting closer to Virgil. “You have me.”

Virgil huffed a laugh, and put his arm around Patton. “I guess I do.”

And as they both stared off into the stars in the sky, Virgil allowed himself the slightest sliver of hope. 

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to dream. Not if he had someone to dream with him. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! and if you'd like, [check out my tumblr!](https://hi-its-tutty.tumblr.com/) or, if you like what i do, maybe drop me a [ko-fi!](ko-fi.com/tutty0549) thank you again, it means the world to me! hope you have a wonderful day! <3
> 
> (side note, i _may or may not_ have more for this au written, so if you would like to see that ;D let me know!)


End file.
